Energy and focus

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In conversations I had with a lady who came from a well known family of English musicians, she expressed amazement at the range of opportunities I had to be creative. This lady advised me to make the most of the options while I still had the energy. I didn’t understand what she meant in those days. I was young and took my energy for granted.

Then I had a similar chat about a decade later with a female artist from an English theatrical family. I was still out and about, exploring possibilities and gaining a wide range of experiences. This artist advised me to take breaks. She suggested that I would eventually burn myself out if I didn’t. My energy was still functioning close to its peak, so I heard what she said, but it didn’t really sink in.

Obviously, I reached a point where I realised that my energy as a human being could only go so far. I’ve had a few wobbly moments when it felt like I had blown a fuse internally. I could also feel it in my voice. My singing teacher advised me not to practise on the days that I did education work. She said the human voice was not designed to be stretched as far as I was taking things.

The moment arrived when I had to make some choices. One can only keep such a wide range of options open for so long. It felt very odd, stepping off the treadmill to reflect and just exist, without being engaged in some engrossing activity. It is not easy for me to sit still and do very little.

I have no regrets about my curiosity and the way I expended my energy back in the day. All the experiences I went through are part of my vocabulary, to be drawn from in the next phase. I feel like I’m emerging from a long hibernation. The energy is going to be used more sparingly from now on.